Say No to Yes
Recently, while at a ladies’ bible study, one woman was describing some issues she was facing and another told her that she needed a “yesectomy.” I must have looked like an owl as quickly as my head spun around to ask her, “a WHAT?” She chuckled, as I’m sure I wasn’t the first to have that reaction, and told me that she struggled with telling people ‘no.’ She felt guilty saying ‘no’ to them when they’d ask her to do something, piling even more on her already very busy schedule. So, in her self-induced challenge to say ‘no’ more often, she removed ‘yes’ from her vocabulary, essentially giving herself a ‘yesectomy!’
Many years ago, I coined Pastor’s quips as Jerryisms and this sounds like it could go on his list as something he’d come up with! One, it certainly grabs your attention, as Jerryisms often do, but also, there is a lot of truth in it too, when you dig in a little. You know Pastor hates the word ‘busy’ and maybe the reason our society is so busy is because more people need a yesectomy! We say yes to our kids when they ask to join this or that, or maybe we enroll them in this or that so that we can be more available to do more things ourselves. Maybe people at work know you get results, therefore you’re the go-to person when it comes to the next project. Sometimes we say yes out of guilt, but sometimes it’s just plain ignorance that we think we can take on more stuff and still be productive, even when we’re already maxed out on energy and time.
One Jerryism that I have written in my bible is this, “If your outflow is greater that your inflow, then your upkeep will be your downfall.” When we give a 110% to everything and everyone around us (outflow), but we don’t take the time to care for ourselves (inflow), eventually the rat race will catch up with us (upkeep) and we’ll come crashing down (downfall).
Taking time for ourselves and saying no to others is not a sin and it’s not hateful. This is not to say you should never say yes, but you have to evaluate your situation before responding. Do I have a lot of down time or do I have a lot of my plate right now? Is this something to which I can give 100% or will it be mediocre attention at best? You can’t help others if you can’t first help yourself. When you fly on a plane, they tell you in case of emergency, put the mask on yourself first, then your child. Why? Because if you can’t breathe, how are you going to help your child? Maintaining your inflow means time with God and family, good food and rest, exercise, etc., so that when you are asked, your mind and body are prepared for what lies ahead.
If you struggle with saying ‘no’ to people, maybe you too need a yesectomy!